Wendy Mogel, a talented and insightful author of the books, Blessings of a Skinned Knee,  spoke of the array of behaviors and traits that are to be found as expressions of our personalities.  One of our jobs as a parent is to acknowledge that we need to get to know who this individual is that has blessed our home with his or her presence; to know that apart from our own desires and dreams for this child, they are their own person.  Our job is to know who they are as they unfold.  All too often we we feel our expectations are thwarted because our children (or for that matter our friends or significant others–be it a spouse, parent, sibling) are not meeting our expectations we will tend to respond with frustration and reactions that will attempt to get them to align with our desires.  So, if a child is not studying as we would like, we may think of them as lazy.  If our friend is showing anger we may say they are controlling.  Wendy invites us to consider other lenses out of which to look.  Consider the following and how these points of view might make a difference in how you would respond to another:
A stubborn or whining child is persistent.
A complaining child is discerning
An overeating child is lusty.
A loud child is exuberant.
A shy child is cautious and modest.
A reckless, accident-prone child is daring and adventurous.
A bossy child is commanding and authoritative.
A picky, nervous, obsessive child  is serious.